The first year was fantastic. Met lovely people, and won't forget it. Last year was good, but not quite as good. S totally killed it for me; I agreed to phone him when I could, so I did. He just made me feel guilty every time I did. Craphead. But other than that, and being generally more tired than the first year, it was good.

This last weekend, hmm.

(scroll down to the bottom for the short version, otherwise, here's the boring long version)-

I seem to have slipped down in health every year. I hired an electric wheelchair, which was brilliant; I don't think I would have been able to cope at all without it.

I got there, didn't see anyone I knew yet. Was told to sit down next to Alistair, who was friendly, but I was tired. Waited for Mum to find the wheelchair whilst worrying about how I looked (terrible skin, hair was a mess, dressed like a confident person [ish. High boots, fishnets, short skirt, pink fuzzy jumper. Urgh. TART.] but really wasn't feeling well enough to be confident). Got the chair, took a while to get the hang of it, but just about made it to our room. Obsessed a bit more about how I looked, tried to believe Mum when she said I looked lovely, and not like a tart. She's my mother, she had to say that. After unpacking and discovering the TV remote batteries weren't working, we headed back to find people. We brought my own food (anti-candida diet), so just hovered about when other people were getting food, and trying to find people I knew. Eventually Jon, Cara, Peter and Ben appeared, and we found a table for me to park at and them to eat at. Rosa, Livi, and someone who I later found out was David, joined us. It was kinda noisy, and I didn't have the energy to lean forward and try to hear what people were saying, so I mostly just sat there staring at my phone and texting Kat (who we all missed terribly) a bit. Eventually I ate like half a potato and a few veggies. erm, yum.

We went back to Livi and Rosa's room a little later. At some point we wander down to the opening thing, where Jill babbled on about something, I wanted to fall asleep, and Carrie turned up. I have a nasty feeling there was a camera pointing in my face too.

Back in the room, we all talked a bit and listened to Ben playing his guitar. Lots. But he's good, so that's ok. It's a very nice guitar, I want it!

I don't remember too much but we wandered back to the social area, then the bar, then back again probably.. The bloke from the first series of the salon was there. Woo. We missed the interview (or rather, ran away before it), but he was in the social area, with people round him. Having their pictures taken with him. Jon and Peter had a photo taken with him, because they love him so. There were free hair stuff things.. Woo! Free stuff! I got a shiny one.. It's a spray, that's supposed to make your hair go shiny. I don't know if I just don't have the hang of it yet, and sprayed too much, or if it's just crap. But it made my hair look more greasy than anything. Although it did feel very silky! Not many people looked at my hair and said "your hair looks greasy, can I stroke it?"..

After sitting around talking (or rather other people talking, me sitting and not saying much) in the bar for a while, joined by Gina and Carly, most of us went back to their room. People gradually disappeared, until it was just me and Carrie left with Gina and Carly. I lay on the bed and felt stupid and awkward, hardly saying anything at all.

Me and Carrie left at the same time. I'm no good at leaving before other people.. I might miss something! How stupid.

I got back to our room (sharing with mum), went to bed, played games on my phone for a bit, attempted to sleep, didn't. I couldn't breathe properly, was very tired, was missing G loads, and was worrying about how ill I was and how bad that timing was. I had a mini panic thing.. Not a panic attack, just got myself into a state. Being over tired didn't help. I had 4 hours sleep the night before.

Mum managed to calm me down, we stayed awake talking for a while, then slept. 3 or 4 hours. Oops.

Woke up feeling shit, so stayed in bed cos I could hardly move. Didn't get up till a lot later, when it was time to get ready for the dinner anyway.

I missed the photos and video messages. Pants. I had made up my mind that I'd do a message this year, because I missed it last year, and the first year I looked really bad and sounded really stupid. I don't want to be remembered like that! But I missed it. Though, it's not such a great tragedy, I wasn't looking good. Oh well, next year!

I came back to life at the dinner, which was good. There were odd things on the tables, small silly sunglasses, party poppers, and party streamers.. Or something. Along with candles, which we lit at 8o'clock, in honour of the SAMs (Severely Affected Members). Which was nice. So what did we do? We burnt things* :D Mainly lighting matches and watching them burn. But we found out that the streamer things were cool to burn. Because they were very inflammable, just went black, after burning green, yay! Oh, and, the party blower things.. there was one that was broken, so David burnt it :D that was slightly less safe…

So, after burning things, and covering our ears from ‘Big George' and the loud speaker we were sitting next to, we retired to the bar area. Talked a bit, let Carrie have a go on my wheelchair.. hmm! She got the hang of it, after crashing into the sofa, and actually moving it, with Cara on it… I phoned Kat, my phone got passed round a fair few times. It even went on a tour around god-knows-where with Carrie, on Livi's lap, in my wheelchair… I am far too trusting. They could have just stolen my phone and wheelchair! But, they didn't. So that's ok.

We had a dance in the social bit (I say we, I mean Livi danced lots, I got out of my wheelchair for a bit when I was feeling sorta ok, and wiggled a bit..), and played Jenga. Carrie lost twice, in the same game. Woo! Me and peter won. Ok so we had a little help from Paul, because he is very kind and things, but we did the work! Woo!..

Eventually we went back to Rosa and Livi's room. Played a failing game of ‘Truth' (as in truth or dare, without the dare.. because none of us were well enough/wanted to move to do dares), that didn't work because none of us could think of any questions.. and the ‘Friends' game, which didn't turn out to be that great either.. We then decided to make it a pyjama party. So back to our own rooms to get changed we went (although Peter and Jon stayed, because not too many of us particularly wanted them to change into their boxers..). We got back, and a little later wandered back to the social bit, where there were some people, but we soon decided it was more fun in the room. So we went back. Although some were too tired, so went to bed. By then it was just Livi who was in bed and drifting off to sleep, Rosa, Jon, Carly, Cara, and me. We talked for a while, then Carly and Cara left, and with Livi asleep, the three of us lay on the bed and talked a bit. Which was cool, cos by then I was waking up properly. Although Jon and Rosa were getting tired.. Typical really, I wake up when everyone else falls asleep. Oh well. So we stayed up for a bit, then I went to bed when they were either very sleepy, or just wanted to be alone. Either way, they were hinting for me to go ;)

I whizzed back towards our room in the wheelchair, and paused for a while and though about exploring the hotel and maybe finding any other nocturnal people to play with.. But looked at the clock on my phone, which I think said 6 something. Although the clocks had gone back and I hadn't changed mine yet so whatever.. Either way, it was late, and even if I wasn't tired at the time, I needed the sleep. So I went to bed.

Got up Sunday morning, yes, morning *gasp*, found Carrie, Carly, and Ben. The girls went off to set up Carly's jewellery making thing, I stayed and talked to Ben a bit. Mostly about music. And most of that was about Guitar stuff. Woo! Then we went to find people, and Peter turned up. They played a very short game of Jenga, then built things with the bricks, and knocked them over. Yay!

We looked at the official photos, there weren't any with me in. Though there was one with mum in, looking quite funny (if anyone ordered that, PLEASE scan it for me ;) ).

There were the P.A.T (pets as therapy, or something) dogs, which were cute, obviously. And then there were awards, for cutest baby (we took photos with us), funkiest mobility aid, knobbliest knees, and funkiest socks. I had my baby photo, and despite being very cute, I didn't win. *sulks* :P

Oh, and Gina's prettyboy Timtom ( :P ) made an appearance, posed for photos, and took photos. Which was cool.

Then we went backwards and forwards to the entrance every time somebody went home, which was knackering.

It was lovely to see people again, but it's such a pain that I wasn't well enough to be anything other than the boring quiet one in the electric wheelchair.

I knew most people from past conferences, but hadn't really spoken to Gina or Carly before, and met David (who I burnt things with), and Shelley looked at me at one point and suddenly said "Chloe!" so stared back and said "Shelley!" She said she knew who I was but couldn't remember my name. So that was nice! I wonder if she knows I'm with her ex? Hmm ;)

So we all went home, and by the time I got home, I felt so awfully shit. I was crying (because I felt so ill) by the time I got upstairs and just crawled into bed.

Short version-

Was ill most of the time, but hired an electric wheelchair, which was fun. Missed the whole of Saturday before the dinner. Dinner was cool, we burnt things.*