I'm cold, lonely, miserable, and I don't know what to do with myself. And I keep thinking that, and then that song gets stuck in my head. Which is not a bad thing, I like that song. But I don't really want it in my head.

I went downstairs earlier with the intention of coming back quite soon, but I stayed in the kitchen with Mum instead. I like company sometimes. Mum's got a coldy flu type thing, and is poorly. She was really bad on monday. Better than she was, but she still shouldn't be slaving over a hot stove for so long. Howard said he'd do her dinner and shopping today. It didn't happen. I think they fell out for a change. Not sure what happened but I'm on Mum's side.

I don't take sides. I just know from experience that it's usually his fault.

I'm cold.

So yes, I stayed downstairs for a while, left my phone upstairs. I was fairly happy, sort of hyper happy but like not hyper.. hm. Smiley and chatty. Then I felt crap. Could feel a cold coming on. I never get colds. I was sitting next to Mum, who has a cold. I came upstairs, all sniffy and poopey.

Looked at my phone.

7 missed calls.

Haha. Sorry. I guess I knew that would happen.. 4 from Kat, 3 from call back voicemail thing. and a text message saying I had a voicemail message. So I listened.

See, Kat, Carrie and Jon are at Livi's, to see her be a star in Cabaret. The star.

I'm not there.

I hate being ill.

:(

I might be happier later and call them.. Maybe.

I should at least text Kat.

I don't like moaning to people who care about me :S

I thought I'd be okay.. Cos I'm not like really really ill, just, not well enough to be going out even for a day.. let alone two days, with people, going out, doing stuff..

I guess this is how Kat felt when we were all at the conference..

But she wasn't there cos she's 'better'.. I'm not there cos I'm shit.

I don't like being shit.

It's not fucking fair. :(