and now... i'm doing what i want to do... and everyone's getting hurt because of it. i feel so selfish :( but the thing is, i haven't actually done anything to hurt anyone. people* have tried to stop me, because they were worried about me... but they haven't met him.. not properly.. they've seen his bad side, and to them, it cancels out the fact that he makes me happy... i shouldn't have to justify my reasons for going out with him. i'm a teenage girl, with a boyfriend. okay fair enough he's 5 years older than me, but i learnt a hell of a lot from my last boyfriend, and i can handle it.

My Mum trusts me to do what i think is right, and she trusts my judgement. she doesn't wrap me up in cotton wool, and i'm greatfull for that, because if she did, then i'd be as depressed as hell.. i'd have NO life, whatsoever.

i am greatfull for friends... ones that care about me... i'm also greatfull for the ones that stand by me and let me do what i think is right.

nobody in this world is perfect. nobody at all. some people claim that they've found someone perfect for them, and yeah, maybe they really have. perfect for them.

if every single person in this world shut their eyes to anyone who isn't 100% perfect for them, then there would be a hell of alot of single people out there, and the whole human race would probably die down. mind you, i guess if everyone had loving parents who were perfect for eachother, then the world would be a better place...

but everybody needs somebody... parents, friends, pets maybe.. a boyfriend/girlfriend... a best friend. that would be nice.. to have a best friend... somebody who will help you through good times and bad, and support your decisions, and be there for you if ever anything goes wrong... without even wanting to say 'i told you so'.

If i really was in trouble, then i wouldn't have wanted to admit it... because people were tying to stop me anyway... to save me from any trouble... and although people wouldn't say it, they'd definitely be thinking 'i told you so'.

you want the truth, then what i really think, is that this is my relationship.. it's between me and my boyfriend.. he's made me pretty mad recentlly.. and things are kinda a lil rough at the moment... but if he wants me, like he says he does, then this will work. because he'll prove it. and if it doesn't work, then, well, c'est la vi.

I'm taking a break from msn for a while now, because all that's happened has been through msn. people don't want to know me anymore, and i don't blame them. i don't want to know me either. i'll still be on the message board and email, so if you really want to talk to me, then send me a message of some kind... but don't just talk to me out of pity, because too many people have got dragged into this by doing that..

See y'all soon.

Love

me

~xxx~